I read a story in the Sacramento Bee recently that was PREPOSTOROUS! I write today to REFUTE,” Humans beware: Dog kisses can lead to diseases called ‘zoonoses,'” by Cynthia Hubert. I have many objections to this story. But seriously, ZOONOSES. HaHaHaHaHa, Heeee, Heee, Teee, Heee. Were some drunken doctors sitting in a pub after surgery one night trying to come up with a clever name for this made-up disease when Dr. Nolittle shouts, ” ZOONOSE, that’s what we should call it!,” Spit out beer! HaHaHa. Choke on onion ring. “Zoonose, that is brillant,” Knee slap! Guffaw. “Smashing! You may win a Nobel Prize just for coming up with the name ZOONOSE!” Do you acquire a star-nosed mole nose when you contract ZOONOSE? A probosis monkey nose? A toucan nose? An aardvark nose? An elephant seal? Egads. A righteous, hope not! The visual is unstoppable, rampant, irrepressible. It is both hopeful and grave. Tragic and beautiful. Just what sort of nose will Anne end up with if she contracts zoonose? Might it be an improvement?
The story talks about this ridiculous study that a UCD vet professor wrote for a scientific journal saying that people who allow their pets to kiss or sleep with them may contract some diseases called zoonoses. However, the article didn’t find ONE person who has contracted ZOONOSE. Zero. Zip. Nada. There are 77.5 million dogs owned in the United States. And several dozen million dog owners. Throw us a bone. The reporter didn’t talk to Dr. Doolittle. Nor did she talk to a single dog. Or cat. The article did not mention Ollie. That is me. I am a huge proponent of kisses. Proof. I want evidence. The dope. The goods. A witness. A testimonial. Data. Documentation. A photo. An exhibit. I want to see a zoonose. Until there is confirmation, I declare zoonoses bunk. Junk. Heresay. I like giving kisses. What is the world without kisses? What is a story without evidence? Besides we have intel that Cynthia Hubert sleeps with her cat.
More Ollie and other dog photos may be seen annechadwickwilliams.com